How to acknowledge your feelings so you can smile more

When we fully acknowledge our feelings, the brokenness that we feel, the horrors of our deepest suppressed and repressed emotions, those emotions begin to lose their power.

It’s hard to find the words to express the emotions that accompany watching a loved one’s battle with addiction or alcoholism.

The helplessness

The brokenness

The anger

The guilt

The resentment

The loneliness

The emptiness

The anxiety

The sadness

The grief

And if you lose your loved one, the pain you endure is one you can never imagine coping with again. And then comes the complicated grief.

Sleep or rest, and I mean proper rest, well it’s just a distant memory.

It’s important to break free of these emotions, but how? By surrendering to your negative feelings.

Self-awareness is increased more rapidly by observing feelings and understanding the underlying emotions.  Everything I am sharing here is understanding that I have gained from

letting go

the book “ Letting Go”  by Sir David Hawkins.

So how do you surrender to a feeling?

First you accept it is there. Then, you empty the energy by letting it be until it runs out.

If the feeling is surrendered and let go, the thoughts associated with the feeling disappear and are replaced by a concluding thought that replaces it.

What’s the basic feeling I am ignoring?

What is the feeling that you are ignoring? Is it the loss of relationship?

Let go of grief, and fear. When you can feel at peace, suddenly someone new will show up in your life.  Feel gratitude and love, instead of grief and loneliness and life will begin to change.

Dealing with Overwhelm of emotions

We have built in ways of dealing with the overwhelm of emotions that we feel. Suppression, repression, expression and escape.  We tactically use these to consciously push away the emotion, reducing the intensity by expressing it, or by sharing the feeling with others.

Escape mechanisms can give you distance from the upset. All of this helps reduce the intensity of the feelings.

It’s also good to let it go by breaking down the situation into bits. For example, as i learn to let go of the sadness of losing my husband, I break things down into smaller pieces, the different things that I miss.

Letting go of shared roles in the kitchen.

Letting go of his amazing cooking.

Letting go of his laughter.

Letting go of his music filling the house.

Letting go of the sound of the gate as he came from work.

Letting go of the smell of his cologne.

Letting go of missing notes and poems.

Letting go of the surprise flowers.

Letting go of the little gifts.

Letting go of being called cherub.

Letting go of the attachment to his clothes.

Letting go of the house, our family home.

Letting go of the fear that I’ll never love again.

 

When we break things down into smaller bits, and let go of them individually, it gets the mind into the letting go mode,  taking us up to courage.

Then, we have the courage to face the situation, to face our feelings and do something about it.

Surender on one emotion leads to surrendering to all of them

As we overcome the overwhelm, we can reexamine the emotions, the fragments and handle them as they arise.

Measuring Energy Levels of Emotions

power vs force

David R Hawkins wrote that emotions are energy that vibrate at various frequencies, and can be measured. He created a scale of emotions and their energetic power.  I find this incredibly helpful to see the energetic numbers for each emotion. It helps me to think about what I carry around.

1000 – Enlightenment  

The highest level of attainment in the human realm of pure consciousness

600 – Peace 

Oneness, bliss, effortless

540 – Joy

Love that is unconditional and unchanging, exquisite beauty is seen in all things, discovery of self, compassion for all, enormous patience, sense of self-completion and self sufficiency

500 – Love  

A way of being that is forgiving nurturing, and supportive. deals with wholes not particulars, perception is replaced by visions, sees lovability of all that exists

400 – Reason

Ability to be objective, make rapid and correct decisions, problem-solving

350 – Acceptance

Easy-going, harmonious, flexible, inclusive free of inner resistance, feel connected

310 – Willingness 

Positive attitude welcoming all expressions of life, seeks to be of service, friendly

250 – Neutrality

Comfortable, pragmatic, free of emotion, non-judgement, non-competitive

200 – Courage

The critical point that mark the shift from negative to positive. I can do it. Determined, Self-empowered independent. Effective action is possible.

175 – Pride 

My way is the best way, focuses on achievement, perfectionism, superior to others.

150 – Anger 

Overcomes fear by force, threat and attack. irritable, explosive, bitter volatile and resentful.

125 – Desire 

Always seeking gain,  insatiable, craving, give it tome now

100 – Fear

Sees danger everywhere, avoidant, defensive, possessive of others, anxious, vigilant.

75 – Grief 

Helplessness, despair, loss, regret, feeling if only I had, separation, sadness, mournful. I can’ go on.

50 – Apathy 

Hopelessness, being a drain to others, immobilised. I can’t i don’t care

30 – Guilt 

Punish and be punished, feeling bad, self-sabotage, It’s all my fault

20 – Shame 

Humiliation, hanging head in shame, banishment, destructive to health, cruelty towards self and others.

So, how do we release these emotions and increase our energy?

  1. Seek out others of higher energy  – high vibe relationships.
  2. Tell the truth to ourselves and others.
  3. Practice gratitude – turn your attention towards what you are grateful for. Shift your attention to gratitude.
  4. Love  – think of someone who is easy to love and hold them in your heart. Visualise them sitting with you now.
  5. Forgiveness.
  6. Meditation and Breath work.
  7. Go for a walk.
  8. Think positive thoughts.
  9. Consume positive content.

There’s so much more that can be said about this topic. And there are so many other ways to increase your energy. The key thing I want to leave you with is, the importance of letting go of those negative emotions that pull your energy down. regardless of what you do to increase it.   Remember to ask yourself, what is the feeling that I am ignoring?

 

Kim Moore Blossome

About Kim More

Kim lost her husband to alcohol dependency in 2017. She created the Blossome Community to help others enduring losing a loved one to alcoholism or addiction find a Pathway to Peace so they can let go of guilt/shame and live with self-compassion and joy.

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