Even though parts of you want to heal, there will be parts of you that don’t. It’s called resistance to emotional healing. I’m learning this, years into my healing journey and if only I would have learned this sooner. But here’s the thing, you are reading this, so now you know, and it can save you from an awful lot of struggle.
The truth is that emotional healing can present a great problem for people.
As I sat on my bed on the weekend, snuggled under the covers with a steaming mug of coffee, I stared at my yoga mat. It remains at the foot of my bed where there is ample space for my practice. It’s blue with beautiful lines crafted on it, to guide my positioning, giving me confidence that my body is in alignment, nudging me when it is not. I love this mat and I love who I am when I step onto it. But there’s one thing that I always notice. It’s in a state of new perfection. There is no fading from use.
This isn’t the only healthy habit that has been a struggle to create. There are many others.
I’m learning that resistance to emotional healing is an internal battle between what I want, the conscious decisions that I make and the unconscious forces like my self-talk that get in the way and cause me to get stuck.
Part of me is ready to make changes. But part of me is scared. And if I’m really honest, part of me does not yet know what I really want. The decision to heal, requires more decisions, to choose who you are and how you are going to be.
So how can we overcome resistance to emotional healing? Here are my thoughts, all gained from plenty of personal experience.
Choose who you are and how you will be
Who is it that you want to be? Deciding this will require you to consider who you are now, as well as who you want to be. I choose to blossome. I choose to open up to joy. I choose never to be angry again. I choose to never be resentful again. I choose not to get pulled into drama. I choose to trust. I choose to laugh and play. I choose to love myself.
It’s your time. Choose how you are going to use it. Choose how you are going to be and keep moving forward. One step at a time.
Be open to making emotional healing easy
Just because emotional healing is challenging, doesn’t mean it has to be that way all the time. Be open to making it easy. I always ask myself, how can I have fun making progress in this moment? If you focus your mind on making it easy, it will be easier. See the resolution see the lesson in every challenge and your healing will be easier and far more enjoyable.
Acknowledge your own resistance to emotional healing
When we acknowledge our own resistance it begins to loose it’s power. Unspoken resistance grows stronger. Be truthful about the downside of healing. What is it that you are afraid of? Recognise that it’s all part of you. Accept and honour all of you and you will begin to release your fear.
Be self-compassionate
Stop giving yourself such a hard time. Allow yourself to ease into it, and move at your own pace. Speak lovingly to your heart. Discover what is happening in your heart and give yourself unconditional support and care. Whisper words to yourself that you need to hear. Self-compassion is at the heart of the Pathway to Peace healing journey.
Your resistance to emotional healing was just trying to protect you, but now you can embrace your healing, on your own terms, at your own pace. I promise you if you do, it will feel far better than you and your self-talk ever imagined. It’s really ok for you to smile. It’s safe for you to heal. Healing is easier together. Join us in the Blossome Community.
Further reading:
Why would someone who is suffering stop the opportunity to heal? Exploring Your Mind discusses what psychoanalysis and psychologists have discovered in their article Resistance Towards Emotional Healing
