I didn’t know it was happening. Parts of me disappeared over time, I just didn’t realise it. Years of living in a home gripped by active alcoholism meant my attention was everywhere, except on me. Anything that was happening to me slipped by unnoticed and fragments of my being seemed to gradually fade away.
For years, I remained unaware of this quiet transformation transpiring deep within me. My senses and awareness were scattered like autumn leaves rustling in the wind, darting to and fro by the turbulent currents of chaos and turmoil. Lost in the relentless waves of my husband’s illness, my gaze turned outward, neglecting the silent whispers of my own existence.
You see, it’s easier to turn outward than to turn inward.
I too was ill and in denial, I just didn’t realise it. My own experiences became the unsung verses of a song I had yet to hear, muffled beneath external distractions and layers of suppressed emotions.
With years of work and commitment to my own self-care, in the gentle embrace of self compassion, I have come to know that the truest courage lies not in the big gestures that command attention, but in the quiet resolve to turn inward, to reclaim the fragments of our own being, and to listen earnestly to the symphony of our own heart’s desires.
For in the revelation of vulnerability, in the awareness and the acknowledgment of the whispers that were once drowned by my husbands lost battle, a sacred alchemy transpired. It is the alchemy of self-discovery, a profound transformation that empowers us to forgive, to embrace our imperfections, to honour the scars that map the journey of our soul, to prioritise our own selfcare and to stand unwavering in the brilliance of our authentic selves.
So, dear kindred spirits, if you find yourself adrift in the sea of life’s tumultuous currents, I urge you to anchor your gaze on the shores of your own essence. Be still, and listen to the secrets woven within the fabric of your being. There, amidst the echoes of forgotten dreams and the pulse of unspoken aspirations, you shall unearth the wellspring of courage—the courage to be unapologetically, beautifully, and authentically you.
You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Healing is easier together. Join others who understand the heartache and together commit to your self-care, to finding the courage to be you along a guided healing journey. Join the Blossome Community.
Kim Moore is the Founder of Blossome CIC. She lost her husband Chris to alcoholism in 2017. She faced a difficult journey while raising 2 children alone, with her family living on the opposite side of the world. Kim founded the Blossome Community and The Pathway to Peace healing journey so no one would have to feel alone while enduring the trauma of a loved one’s battle with alcoholism or addiction. She is also on a mission to end the generational cycle of alcoholism and addiction in families.
