You are worthy and deserving of compassion and love

This is the most important thing you will read today, so please, read slowly. It may even be the most important thing you read all year.

You are worthy and deserving of compassion and love.

How does that make you feel? Does it ease a little tension in your body and have the corners of your mouth soften and turn upwards?  Or does it make you tighten and cringe just a little bit?

In the Blossome Community I often hear comments like, “Oh I don’t want to take up a space because someone else will need it more than I do.” That’s our way of saying someone deserves the care and support more than we do.

I often also hear,  “I find practising self-compassion uncomfortable because I don’t think I deserve it.” or “ I don’t like looking at myself in the mirror. I just can’t do it.”

What happens to us that makes us feel we are not worthy of showing ourselves some compassion and love?

Addiction is a devastating force that can ripple through the lives of many, leaving behind pain, confusion, and heartache. If you find yourself reading this, it’s likely that you have been affected by someone else’s struggle with addiction. You may feel lost, angry, or even guilty, but I want to take a moment to remind you of something incredibly important: you are worthy and deserving of love and compassion – and you need to be the person that gives this to you.

Understanding the Impact of Addiction

When someone we care about is suffering from addiction, it can feel like we are on an emotional rollercoaster. One moment, they may seem like the person we once knew, and the next, their addiction takes over, leaving you feeling helpless and alone. It’s easy to internalise their struggles, believing that you could have done something differently or that their choices reflect on your worth as a person. You may even think or feel less of yourself because of your own thoughts and actions in difficult situations.

But it’s crucial to understand that addiction is a complex disease. It often stems from a variety of factors—trauma, mental health issues, or social pressures—that are beyond anyone’s control. Their addiction does not define you, nor does it diminish your value as a person. It’s also important to acknowledge that we become ill too – caught in unhealthy patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving. We need to recover too. We can begin to feel disconnected, unseen and unheard. All of these have an impact on how we feel about ourselves, but we can heal ourselves by starting to love ourselves more.

The Importance of Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is a powerful tool that we can use to resource ourselves. It’s easy to be hard on ourselves, especially when we feel we should have done more to help our loved ones. However, it’s essential to recognise that you are doing the best you can in an incredibly challenging situation.

Here are a few ways to practise self-compassion:

Check in with yourself: This is one of the most compassionate things you can do for yourself. Slow down and ask yourself, what do I need?

Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s okay to feel hurt, angry, or confused. Allow yourself to experience these emotions without judgement or trying to fix them, just feel.

Seek Support: Surround yourself with people who understand your situation. Therapy, close friends and support groups like the Blossome Community can provide a safe space to express your feelings.   Blossome holds regular self-compassion support sessions, live online,  that you are welcome to attend. We also hold self-compassion training and activities. Check our self-care activities calendar and see what there is to choose from.

Remembering Your Worth

You are deserving of love and compassion, not just from others, but from yourself as well. It’s easy to forget this when you are entrenched in a situation that feels overwhelming. Here are some reminders of your inherent worth:

You Are Not Alone: Many people have walked a similar path and have found healing and hope. Connecting with others can help you feel less isolated.

Your Feelings Matter: You have the right to express your emotions, no matter how complicated they may be. Your experience is valid.

You Deserve Happiness: While your loved one may be struggling, it’s essential to remember that you also deserve joy and fulfilment in your life.

Finding Hope and Healing

Healing takes work. It’s a journey and it’s definitely not a straight path. It’s important to be patient with yourself as you navigate this journey. Allow yourself to grieve the relationship you once had with your loved one while also making space for hope. Many individuals recover from addiction, and with that recovery often comes a renewed sense of connection and understanding. If you’ve lost your love one like I have, you can turn pain into purpose, and cultivate a whole new relationship with yourself, full of love and understanding.

Please remember this your Sunday self-care reminder this week: you are worthy of love, compassion, and a fulfilling life. Take the time to nurture yourself and seek support. You are not defined by the actions of others, but rather by your strength, resilience, and capacity for love. In this journey, hold onto the truth that you are deserving of all the good that life has to offer. Embrace your worth, and don’t hesitate to reach out for help when you need it. Together, in the Blossome Community, we can find healing and hope amidst the challenges of addiction.

Kim Moore

Kim Moore is the Founder of Blossome CIC. She lost her husband Chris to alcoholism in 2017. She faced a difficult journey while raising 2 children alone, with her family living on the opposite side of the world. Kim  founded the Blossome Community and The Pathway to Peace healing journey so no one would have to feel alone while enduring the trauma of a loved one’s battle with alcoholism or addiction. She is also on a mission to end the generational cycle of alcoholism and addiction in families.