Earlier this month, members of the Blossome Community entered a kart into the local Colchester soapbox race. We all agreed on a team name, the Blossome Bloomers – feeling that our “big girl pants” were necessary for what we had planned. We poured our hearts into crafting our team identity: designing a special t-shirt, painting banners, and wearing old-fashioned bloomers with pink ribbons, lovingly hand-sewn. We tied cards to flowers, ready to hand out over 200 blooms to those who came to watch – spreading joy and raising awareness of Blossome. That was our true goal for the day.
We were lucky to find Ian Venables , who offered to build our kart for us. He promised he’d put as much passion and care into the kart as we put into supporting people through the Blossome Community. We decided to wait until the day of the race to see the kart, putting all of our trust in Ian to build and decorate something that conveyed Blossome through and through.
On the morning of the race, we showed up ready to give it our best. And we did – we laughed, we wobbled, and some even tumbled down the hill – but we got back up and pushed the kart together.
And then, we came last. Yep – last.
Ian felt it was his fault because the brakes stuck. I felt it was my fault because I was the driver. I confess it triggered disappointment, perhaps even shame, the inner critic whispering, “You failed. You shouldn’t have touched the brakes.” That voice of harsh self-judgment is familiar to so many of us. Mistakes, setbacks, or simply not measuring up can easily spiral into self-blame.
I’ve been having a hard time writing this too, because it’s a lesson I’m still going through. Part of me wants to have got it right before I share this, as I often feel I need to have the best answer for you, for your wellbeing. The other part of me is learning to release that need for perfection, to allow new rhythms into my life, letting go of old patterns. Goodness knows I’ve been a perfectionist in the past. And it’s fitting really, since September’s theme is releasing perfection, and here I am, writing imperfectly about coming last.
So here goes, my imperfect share of what the soapbox race taught me:
Coming last is disappointing. Even if the goal isn’t to win, coming last doesn’t feel great. By our second attempt at racing down the hill, all I wanted was to get to the bottom of the hill without someone having to push me. And we didn’t get a third attempt because the brakes were totally locked. We couldn’t even push the kart to the start line. That was disappointing. It’s okay to feel disappointment for exactly what it is – without making it bigger than it is.
We weren’t the first team in the history of soapbox races to come last. Someone always comes last. We are human, and we all feel disappointment at times. Knowing we weren’t the first helped. It also helped knowing that we weren’t the only team with a time over 100 seconds!
When we meet our suffering with gentleness, we create space to see the bigger picture. And in that space, I could notice what really mattered: raising awareness of Blossome, reaching our hidden audience, the
joy of being together, and the courage it took to even roll our cart to the starting line. In fact, it was the team that helped me realise this. Everyone offered kindness.
We handed out over 200 flowers that morning. We put smiles on hundreds of faces. Everyone saw our Bloomers, especially as our slow time and the need to push the kart meant eyes were on us for longer. People came up to us on the day wanting more information about Blossome. One woman told us she had been looking for something like Blossome for over 10 years. Every day since, people have been reaching out for support, because they heard us on the radio or saw us at the soapbox race. People remember our bloomer shenanigans.
Most importantly, Blossome Community members didn’t just take part, they grew in confidence. They blossomed in more ways than one. Without self-compassion, we might have missed that.
The soapbox race also reminded me of something so simple and so true: everything is easier together. Each person brought different strengths that made the day possible. Nic came up with our team name, one that’s still shaping our Blossome identity.
Steph, as Captain, took charge of organising us and liaising with the event organisers. Sara rallied us together, beginning with food to fuel us for a banner-making session – the night when our team spirit really began to glow. Nyali brought her energy and carefully sewed the pink ribbons for our bloomers. Karen kept the kart moving and was the first to greet Ian with Denise and me. Nic, Steph, Denise and Karen all helped to lovingly attach messages to the flowers. And Julie handed them out, spreading joy along with the rest of the team.
And THANK YOU to our Sponsors, Ian Venables, Rio IT, and Francis Terry and Associates – we could not have entered the race without their generosity.
Everyone pulled together, and pushed together too, helping our self-LOVE bug make her debut and touch the hearts of many on the day.
Self-kindness doesn’t erase disappointment. But it softens it, helps us let go of harsh self-criticism, and reminds us that we are worthy of care, especially when things don’t go to plan. So today, if you’ve stumbled, come last, or feel like you’ve failed, maybe you can pause, take a breath, and try a simple phrase:
“This is a moment of suffering.”
“Suffering is part of being human.”
“May I be kind to myself right now.”
We came last in the race. But for me, it was a win, not for speed, but for what I discovered: that disappointment can be softened with kindness, that someone always comes last, that compassion helps us see what truly matters, and that everything really is easier together.
Because when we pull together, with gentleness for ourselves and care for one another, even coming last can carry us further than we ever imagined.
I’ll never forget sitting at the top of the hill in our kart. I was practicing affectionate breathing, my favourite self-compassion practice. On every inhale, I offered myself care and affection, visualising pink strands of air wrapping around me, giving me strength and trust in myself. I was about to do something that scared me, something I never thought I could do.
And I’ll never forget the smile on my daughter’s face, watching me. She had been so worried about me getting hurt. That evening we sat on the sofa and laughed and laughed. There had been no need to worry.
We all blossomed that day, in more ways than one.
Self-care is easier together. If you have been affected by someone else’s drinking, drug use or any addiction, we are here for you, in the Blossome Community. It’s time to take care of you.
Kim Moore is the Founder of Blossome CIC. She lost her husband Chris to alcoholism in 2017. She faced a difficult journey while raising 2 children alone, with her family living on the opposite side of the world. Kim founded the Blossome Community and The Pathway to Peace healing journey so no one would have to feel alone while enduring the trauma of a loved one’s battle with alcoholism or addiction. She is also on a mission to end the generational cycle of alcoholism and addiction in families.
Kim lost her husband to alcohol dependency in 2017. She created the Blossome Community to help others enduring losing a loved one to alcoholism or addiction find a Pathway to Peace so they can let go of guilt/shame and live with self-compassion and joy.
Every Monday morning, start you week on a positive note with a Wonderful Week of Blossoming.
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