How to Practise Self-Care When You Don’t Have Time

“I don’t have time for self-care.” Perhaps you’ve thought this when life already feels full. Finding another half an hour to meditate, exercise, journal or do something “good for you” can feel like one more demand. But what if self-care isn’t another thing you have to find time for?

At Blossome, we think of self-care as a way of approaching your life with care for yourself.

It isn’t only what you do for yourself. It’s how you treat yourself while you’re living your ordinary life,  how you respond to your needs, your limits, your feelings and the difficult moments. And sometimes, caring for yourself means deciding not to do something at all.

This August, our Sunday Self-care theme is Making Room for Yourself.

Last week, we began by asking: What do I need right now? This week, we’re exploring how we can let the answer influence the way we live.

Does self-care have to take extra time?

No. Meditation, movement, creativity, rest, connection and time in nature can all be wonderful self-care practices. But self-care doesn’t only happen when we stop ordinary life to do something specifically for our wellbeing. It can happen within the life we’re already living.

Imagine you’re making dinner after a tiring day. Caring for yourself might mean noticing that you’re tired and choosing to make something simple. You’re still making dinner. But instead of overriding how you feel and pushing yourself to meet an expectation, you’ve allowed your wellbeing to influence how you do it. Or perhaps you’re writing an email and notice yourself repeatedly rewriting it because you’re worried about getting every word right.

Self-care might be noticing the pressure you’re putting on yourself and deciding that what you’ve written is good enough. Or you’re rushing from one thing to another and notice the tension in your body. You soften your shoulders. Take one breath. Slow your pace. Nothing has been added to your to-do list. You’ve simply included yourself in what was already happening.

What does self-compassion have to do with self-care?

This is where self-compassion becomes important. Self-compassion invites us to notice when we’re struggling and respond with kindness rather than criticism. It might sound like:

This is difficult.

I’m tired today.

I don’t have to do this perfectly.

It’s understandable that I’m finding this hard.

What would support me here?

It doesn’t mean avoiding everything difficult.

Sometimes caring for ourselves means having the difficult conversation, going to work when we’d rather stay home, completing the paperwork or doing something uncomfortable because it matters. The difference is in how we accompany ourselves through it. We don’t have to bully ourselves through our lives. We can be on our own side while we live them.

Can not doing something be self-care?

Sometimes, yes.

When we start paying attention to what we need, we may also begin noticing the things that repeatedly leave us depleted. If you’ve spent a long time loving someone affected by alcohol or drug use, you may have become accustomed to anticipating problems, fixing things, keeping everything going or taking responsibility for other people’s needs.

It can become so familiar that we don’t always stop to ask whether everything we’re carrying still needs to be carried by us. And this can happen in all kinds of caring relationships and busy lives. So occasionally self-care might mean asking:

Does this need to be done?

Does it need to be done by me?

Does it need to be done now?

Does it need to be done this way?

Maybe the answer is yes. But perhaps the message can wait. Perhaps somebody else can do the job. Perhaps another person can manage their own problem. Perhaps you can say no. Perhaps good enough really is good enough. Self-care isn’t always about adding something nourishing.

Sometimes we make room for ourselves by stopping something that is unnecessarily depleting us.

This week’s self-care practice: Do it with care

This week, choose something ordinary that you are already going to do.

Making breakfast.

Getting ready for work.

Driving somewhere.

Doing the shopping.

Answering an email.

Tidying the house.

Caring for somebody.

And, somewhere in the middle of it, notice yourself.

Ask:

How can I care for myself while I do this?

Don’t look for a complicated answer.

Perhaps you can slow down. Take a breath. Ask for help. Lower an expectation. Let something be good enough. Speak kindly to yourself when something goes wrong. Or perhaps you realise that caring for yourself means not doing this particular thing today. Then see what happens when you allow that small piece of information about yourself to matter.

Making room for yourself

Last week, we practised noticing: What do I need? This week, we’re beginning to respond:

How can I care for myself here?

That’s how self-care gradually becomes less about something we do and more about the way we live. Not perfectly. Not in every moment. But a little more often, we remember to include ourselves.

Your Sunday Self-care invitation

Choose one ordinary moment today and ask: How can I care for myself while I do this?

You don’t need to add anything to your day. Do what you’re already doing, but see what changes when you do it with a little more compassion and care for yourself. And if caring for yourself means putting something down, let that possibility be there too. Make room for yourself in the life you’re already living.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

In the Blossome Community, we know self-care can feel impossible, especially for those of us who have spent years caring for others, managing crises, or putting our own needs last. But healing often begins when we learn to offer ourselves some of the kindness, understanding, and appreciation we so freely give to others.

Whether you join us at a self-care activity, a Resourcing Me session, or connect through the Bloom Self-Care Hub, you’ll find people learning to do exactly that. Join us.

Kim Moore

Kim Moore is the Founder of Blossome CIC. She lost her husband Chris to alcoholism in 2017. She faced a difficult journey while raising 2 children alone, with her family living on the opposite side of the world. Kim  founded the Blossome Community and The Pathway to Peace healing journey so no one would have to feel alone while enduring the trauma of a loved one’s battle with alcoholism or addiction. She is also on a mission to end the generational cycle of alcoholism and addiction in families.