This September in the Blossome Community we are exploring trust in relationships, the relationships we have with others and the relationship with ourselves. When someone you love is living with addiction, trust can become complicated. Perhaps there have been promises that weren’t kept. Things you were told that later turned out not to be true. Money that disappeared. Plans that changed. Periods when everything seemed okay, only for another crisis to appear.
Perhaps you have found yourself checking, questioning or looking for clues because experience has taught you that what you are being told and what is actually happening may not always be the same thing. And somewhere along the way, it may not only be your trust in the person you love that has been hurt. You might begin to question yourself too.
Am I imagining this?
Am I overreacting?
Should I help?
Should I step back?
What if I get this wrong?
You may have become so used to anticipating what somebody else might do that it has become difficult to hear what you think, feel or need.
This September, our Blossome journey is: When Trust & Relationships Have Been Hurt.
Over the coming month, we are going to gently explore what happens when trust has been repeatedly damaged, not with the expectation that we should simply learn to trust again, but with curiosity and compassion for what we have experienced. And we will begin somewhere that can sometimes get forgotten.
With ourselves.
This month is not about becoming less cautious. It is not about forcing yourself to trust. And it isn’t about deciding today what should happen to a relationship tomorrow. It is about beginning to recognise what trust, safety and connection mean to you. And allowing yourself to matter within your relationships too.
Alongside our weekly journey, we will share one small invitation each day throughout September. There is nothing to complete and nowhere you need to get to. Take the invitations that feel helpful and leave the ones that don’t.
Day 1
Notice what the word trust brings up for you today. You don’t need to do anything with what you notice.
Day 2
Ask yourself gently: What has been difficult for me lately?
Day 3
Notice one situation where you become watchful, alert or uncertain. Can you meet that response with curiosity rather than criticism?
Day 4
Ask: What have my experiences taught me to protect myself from?
Day 5
Notice what happens in your body when you don’t feel safe. Perhaps you tense, hold your breath, feel restless or begin thinking quickly. Just notice.
Day 6
Remind yourself: My reactions have a history.
Day 7
Think of something you have lived through that once felt impossible. Take a moment to acknowledge yourself for getting through it.
Day 8
Before asking somebody else what they think today, pause and ask: What do I think?
Day 9
Notice one small preference today and allow yourself to choose it without explaining or justifying it.
Day 10
Ask yourself: What am I noticing that I may have been talking myself out of noticing?
Day 11
Remember a time when your instincts told you something important. You didn’t need to respond perfectly for that knowing to have mattered.
Day 12
Make one small promise to yourself today that you can realistically keep.
Day 13
Ask: What would help me feel supported today? Could you offer yourself even a small part of it?
Day 14
Remind yourself: I don’t need to know the whole answer. I only need to find my next step.
Day 15
Consider what helps trust grow for you. Honesty? Consistency? Accountability? Kindness? Respect? Time?
Day 16
Notice the difference between somebody saying “Trust me” and somebody behaving in ways that allow trust to grow.
Day 17
Remind yourself: Loving somebody does not require me to ignore what hurts.
Day 18
Ask: Is there somewhere in my life where a clearer boundary might help me feel safer?
Day 19
Notice whether you are carrying responsibility for something that actually belongs to somebody else.
Day 20
Allow two truths to sit together:
I can care about you.
And I can care about me.
Day 21
Think of a relationship where words and actions generally match. Notice what that consistency feels like.
Day 22
Notice one person around whom you feel able to exhale a little.
Day 23
Reach gently towards safe connection today.
A message. A cup of tea. A walk. Sitting beside somebody. Accepting an invitation.
Day 24
Ask: Where in my life do I feel most able to be myself?
Day 25
Notice one relationship where you feel listened to rather than fixed.
Day 26
Is there a relationship you are grieving, even though the person may still be in your life?
Allow yourself to acknowledge that loss.
Day 27
Think about a relationship you would like to gently nurture. What tiny act of care could you offer it?
Day 28
Notice the people who respect your no without requiring you to defend it.
Day 29
Ask yourself:
What do I want my relationships to feel like?
Not what they should look like.
How would you like to feel within them?
Day 30
At the end of our September journey, perhaps offer yourself this promise:
I will keep learning to listen to myself.
I will notice where I feel safe.
I will allow trust to grow slowly.
I will welcome relationships where I can be fully myself.
And I will try not to abandon myself in order to hold on to somebody else.
Our monthly journeys aren’t only something we read about. Throughout September, there are opportunities to explore some of these ideas through experience, creativity, movement and being alongside other people who understand.
In Resourcing Me, we will explore trust and relationships more directly, making space for what has been hurt, strengthening self-trust, exploring boundaries and considering what safer relationships might look and feel like.
Our three-day sailing experience offers a very different experience of trust. On a boat, we become part of a crew. We learn, contribute, ask for help and sometimes let somebody else take the helm. For those of us who have become used to carrying enormous responsibility, it can be a chance to experience something different: being part of something without having to hold everything together.
At Slow Stitching, everyone will create their own stitched square with a word or message they choose to express. There is no right message and no need for our experiences to be the same. Eventually, all of the individual pieces will be stitched together, each voice remaining its own while becoming part of something shared. A gentle reminder that we can belong without losing ourselves.
And at our Sunrise Dips, the invitation is to practise listening to yourself. You decide whether you enter the water, how far you go and when you come out. You can change your mind. You can stay on the shore. There is nothing to prove. Sometimes self-trust begins with something as simple as noticing what our body is telling us and allowing that to matter.
Different activities. Different experiences.
But perhaps a common invitation running through them all:
Can I listen to myself?
Can I let somebody else support me?
Can I express what is true for me?
Can I belong without abandoning myself?
However you choose to join us this September, you are welcome to take this journey at your own pace. Explore September’s self-care activities and choose what feels right for you.
Kim Moore is the Founder of Blossome CIC. She lost her husband Chris to alcoholism in 2017. She faced a difficult journey while raising 2 children alone, with her family living on the opposite side of the world. Kim founded the Blossome Community and The Pathway to Peace healing journey so no one would have to feel alone while enduring the trauma of a loved one’s battle with alcoholism or addiction. She is also on a mission to end the generational cycle of alcoholism and addiction in families.
Kim lost her husband to alcohol dependency in 2017. She created the Blossome Community to help others enduring losing a loved one to alcoholism or addiction find a Pathway to Peace so they can let go of guilt/shame and live with self-compassion and joy.
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